Alright, I have a little backstory. I have been a long time member of this amazing site, but I needed to create a new username, as I want, for now, to stay annomous. Going back to when the quitting alcohol thread was created, I was always scared to open it. Instead, I would open and post in the bourbon thread. Way back then I knew I might have a problem.
So, a little about me. I am married with childern, hold a stressful full time job and have undiagnosed anxiety, adhd, and more recently, feel, ptsd from work related incidents. I have drank alcohol ocassionally since I was 21. By coassionally I mean socially, some 1-2 times a week, and 1-2 beers, as I didnt like the feel of a buzz. Fast forward. Once married and working fulltime, that 1-2 times a week turned into 1-2 beers a day while cooking and eating dinner. This increased around 2019 when covid hit. At this time I was introduced to bourbon. I enjoyed the taste and began collecting and consuming it on a regular basis. My drinking habits changed from 1-2 beers a day to 1 beer a day and 2-3 pours of bourbon.
The stress of the job increased and my hours changed. I now needed to sleep during the day and used alcohol as a way to help fall asleep, and was drinking 3-4 a day. Fastforward, I am still working at night and using bourbon to fall asleep. First thing I do in the moring when off of work is grab a bottle. On work days I'll have 3-5 to fall asleep, and honestly sometimes numb whatever feelings I have from work. On my off days, I'll increase my drinking to 2-3 beers and 4-5 pours of bourbon.
Though no one, including my wife, has said a thing about my drinking, I have a problem. Deep down inside back when this thread was created, I knew there would be a day I would open it and begin reading. Many of your stories about alcohol use mirror mine. The time has come, now or very soon to quit. Now, I have not talked to my wife about my feelings, as I push them down inside. Ive only recently talked to her about how I feel I have ptsd from a few recent work incidents.
Regarding quitting, my anxiety will make this difficult. I am more worried about how my body will react, than actually stopping the drinking. So, with that said, for the people who had consumed similar quantities, what type of physical and mental withdral symptoms did you have and for how long? I know when I decide to jump I, i'll need to sit down and talk with my wife. But, I am more worried about if I'll be experiencing physical withdrawlls, where I'll need to pre plan and take off of work. I also am private and dont want my friends or co-workers to immediatly know about this struggle until I'm on the road to recovery.
Thoughts?