Quitting Alcohol

I’m 32 and quit 3 years ago. Best decision I’ve ever made. Once you hit a certain point you realize what you’re gaining rather than missing out on. If I’m at a wedding or special event I’ll have an NA. I look at my buddies that continue to drink more and more and feel bad. Glad I got out before it was a real problem!
 
I quit entirely a year ago. I feel much better and am happier with myself , but perhaps the biggest difference is how well I get along with my wife. I just decided the negative side was outweighing the positive and stopped ,cold turkey. It was a good decision. I just retired , and want to enjoy ,with my wife, the fruits of our labors, for as long as possible. Alcohol simply doesn’t fit the plan.
 
I quit entirely a year ago. I feel much better and am happier with myself , but perhaps the biggest difference is how well I get along with my wife. I just decided the negative side was outweighing the positive and stopped ,cold turkey. It was a good decision. I just retired , and want to enjoy ,with my wife, the fruits of our labors, for as long as possible. Alcohol simply doesn’t fit the plan.
Good job! Coming up on two years in July. Just turned 40 last week. Still catch shit from friends and coworkers but doesn't bother me.
 
Sad, some of you folks have no control. Life is better with a drink here and there. Enjoy a crispy beer or a glass of wine or two. It’s good for you.
I think the way you worded this was poor. I enjoy a beer, but life is not better because of it. I’m on a bit of a cleanse currently, and my life has not gotten any worse because I haven’t had a beer in 2 months. I feel pretty fresh and motivated not having any booze.
 
I find that almost six months after quitting, sometimes I'm happy, and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I have energy, other times I feel profoundly tired. Sometimes I am anxious, sometimes I am calm. Sometimes I feel that things are out of my control, other times I figure out ways of controlling things. I'm guessing that this is normal. I've learned to accept the ups and downs and remember that "this too shall pass" without running to the wine bottle.

I haven't been very good about diet and exercise up to this point, but I can feel my mindset changing. I bought some healthy food this week and am making a conscious effort to increase my exercise and lower my sugar intake. Luckily, my weight is right where it should be.
 
I quit entirely a year ago. I feel much better and am happier with myself , but perhaps the biggest difference is how well I get along with my wife. I just decided the negative side was outweighing the positive and stopped ,cold turkey. It was a good decision. I just retired , and want to enjoy ,with my wife, the fruits of our labors, for as long as possible. Alcohol simply doesn’t fit the plan.
I quit 11 years ago as I started dating my wife. She decided to get sober a few months later. Looking back we both know that we would’ve never made it if we hadn’t quit. I have the most amazing wife who has stood by me through some tough times. Something I never thought about until recently was you get one DUI and you never get to hunt in Canada. I worked 8 weeks in BC last year and spent almost all of last September hiking there with my wife then hunting in Northern BC. I’m just thankful I never got that DUI, cause I could spend the rest of my life up there, there’s just so much country to explore.
 
I think the way you worded this was poor. I enjoy a beer, but life is not better because of it. I’m on a bit of a cleanse currently, and my life has not gotten any worse because I haven’t had a beer in 2 months. I feel pretty fresh and motivated not having any booze.
You’d be surprised at how much pushback you get from people who drink when you get sober. I saw a lot of that from my In-laws. Imagine inventing ways to bash people for not pouring literal poison down their throat. I used to love sitting on the porch on a clear night and enjoy a beer. But if I enjoyed sitting there and enjoyed the evening why numb my brain and dull my senses?
 
Coming up on 31 months next week. Heading to London with the wife and kids tomorrow. Last time I was there was around 2017. On that trip I drank a few airport whiskeys before the flight(like always), drank the free wine the whole why there on the overnight flight. I mean, it's free right?! Then we got there and found a brewery. I went with my brother and our wives on that trip. We'd go see the sights then spend the rest of the day hitting up bars and stuff. Finding some beer was always a focal point no matter who I was traveling with.

I was at a trade show a few weeks ago for work. I've gone maybe 15 years in a row. This was the 3rd year going without drinking. Historically this event is a drunk fest. Trade shows are exciting for half the people there. It's an excuse to get away from the wife, eat fine meals, and get hammered. I had a supplier come see me that was a past drinking accomplice of mine. I hadn't seen him the prior two years. First thing he asks is, "Hey you wanna go drink some beer later?" I told him I retired. He almost couldn't believe it. Like I took away his puppy or something. I told him I'd still come hang out at the bar if him and my coworkers wanna drink and that it didn't bother me. Well two nights passed and he never reached out. I took away his fun I guess, lol.

It's both funny and depressing to think back on thousands of interactions that were focused around drinking. Once that switch flips in your brain you look back and it all seems silly. I mean it was often fun, but it wasn't THAT fun. And eventually it wasn't fun at all.

And to the people that say you should just drink in moderation, most of the time they're lying to themselves. I know SOME people that can drink occasionally and then turn it off. I'd say they're the exception and not the rule. It's just like gamblers that only talk about when they win. Most people underreport how much they drink, habitual drinkers at least. I've heard tons of alcoholics tell people that they have a six pack on the weekend, or don't drink during the week. I know they're lying because I used to be them and hang out with a bunch of them!
 
Just slow down
I’d like to address the fallacy in this comment. I’m hardwired with an extremely addictive personality, especially with booze. I’m also hardwired without a fear of heights, and when I say heights, I don’t mean 50ft on a roof or something. I’m talking about working hundreds of feet in the air and being absolutely comfortable. You telling a guy wired like me to just slow down is like me taking someone with a fear of heights 600ft up a chimney, stepping across a 2ft gap from the elevator to the ladder and telling the guy who’s scared shitless “Just don’t be scared dude” like it’s something they can just turn off. Some people just aren’t wired like that, some people just don’t enjoy it.

I’ve quit 3 different times and the 1st and second times I thought I could go back and drink in moderation. Both times I very quickly found myself drinking more and harder than when I had quit. And it was harder to quit than the time before. It’s been scientifically proven that some people are hardwired with a predisposition towards alcoholism. Some people have bonus features like an absolute lack of fear, or just don’t give a damn about anything when they have a buzz. You can label people like me as weak or whatever you want, or you can just understand that different people are just wired differently and face different challenges than you. I really don’t understand why some people who drink get so defensive about it when others talk about sobriety.
 
I really don’t understand why some people who drink get so defensive about it when others talk about sobriety.

Some of it is them, people don't like feeling judged.

A good amount is you. The way you come across is pretty strong and emotional. I never really had much issue with others and their judgement but I was always pretty mindful the way I portrayed it.

Glad you are on the right path, keep it up.
 
I’d like to address the fallacy in this comment. I’m hardwired with an extremely addictive personality, especially with booze. I’m also hardwired without a fear of heights, and when I say heights, I don’t mean 50ft on a roof or something. I’m talking about working hundreds of feet in the air and being absolutely comfortable. You telling a guy wired like me to just slow down is like me taking someone with a fear of heights 600ft up a chimney, stepping across a 2ft gap from the elevator to the ladder and telling the guy who’s scared shitless “Just don’t be scared dude” like it’s something they can just turn off. Some people just aren’t wired like that, some people just don’t enjoy it.

I’ve quit 3 different times and the 1st and second times I thought I could go back and drink in moderation. Both times I very quickly found myself drinking more and harder than when I had quit. And it was harder to quit than the time before. It’s been scientifically proven that some people are hardwired with a predisposition towards alcoholism. Some people have bonus features like an absolute lack of fear, or just don’t give a damn about anything when they have a buzz. You can label people like me as weak or whatever you want, or you can just understand that different people are just wired differently and face different challenges than you. I really don’t understand why some people who drink get so defensive about it when others talk about sobriety.
Alcohol can be one's :
celebration
release
best friend
worst enemy
party
friend
devil
trouble
life
death....

If you're on this thread, alcohol has affected you in some way, positively or negatively. I've always had a good relationship with alcohol that I never want to have again. Personally, without alcohol, I'm more accountable to myself and gives me hope/confidence that I can get through most anything that gets thrown my way.

I don't give a $hit what anyone else thinks of me quitting alcohol. I quit for me, and me only.

2yrs 2+ months sober and counting...
 
St. Patrick's Day made 1 full year for me. I can pretty confidentially say I'll never go back. I can't say I feel better, sleep better, have better mental clarity, but I'm pretty damn proud of myself!!

I decided I would take the money I save every month from not drinking and put it towards something I wanted so I purchased a brand new horse trailer and the payment is what I was spending on booze every month. Boy I love loading the horses up on that brand new trailer. What a great decision to have quit drinking.
 

I recently found this podcast. What I like about it is that some of the most successful, driven dudes out their are addicts. It’s not just a switch they can cut off. As nkhillbilly referenced, the traits that lead to alcoholism and addiction also drive extreme success in other very difficult things. My Dad is a lifelong alcoholic. Teacher of the year for the entire state, top officer at Army OCS, nationally recognized hero on every major news outlet for saving the lives of countless students, but…..he is chained by addiction equally. He doesn’t do anything 50% effort.

Personally, I have always been one of the most successful at everything chosen to do. From 14-28 I also got blackout drunk 100s if not 1000 times. Sounds like hyperbole but it’s sickening to think of all of the missed opportunities because I’ve gone so far on the ones I could keep together.

I’m praying for all of you guys who can’t find someone to support you. Really support snd understand what you are going through. It’s incredibly difficult but remember that insane drive that causes issues is the same drive that can get you on the other side.
 
Some of it is them, people don't like feeling judged.

A good amount is you. The way you come across is pretty strong and emotional. I never really had much issue with others and their judgement but I was always pretty mindful the way I portrayed it.

Glad you are on the right path, keep it up.
My reply was specific to a particular type of statement and attitude towards this subject. But out in general scenarios when people offer you a drink and you tell them you don’t drink they immediately go into asking you why, like you owe them an explanation or insinuating you have a problem and shit. You get judged, a lot. I don’t judge anybody for drinking or say a word about it until they press me. If someone asks me why I don’t drink it’s not on me if they don’t like my answer. In this case I wasn’t judging, just trying to explain why “slowing down” is simply not an option for some people. I also don’t understand why quitting altogether is looked at in such a way that alternatives to it like “slowing down” are even suggested. Or people who use alcohol as a crutch insinuating that the sober people are the weak ones.
 
My reply was specific to a particular type of statement and attitude towards this subject.
Got it.

But out in general scenarios when people offer you a drink and you tell them you don’t drink they immediately go into asking you why, like you owe them an explanation or insinuating you have a problem and shit.
This has never really been much of an issue for me. I would reevaluate how you handle these scenarios. Learn how to move the conversation forward.

You get judged, a lot.
Yes, but, everything you do is judged by others. From the food you eat, car you drive to the clothes you wear.

I don’t judge anybody for drinking or say a word about it until they press me. If someone asks me why I don’t drink it’s not on me if they don’t like my answer.
Agreed. However, if you want to handle social situations where drinking is the norm in our culture. It behooves most people to handle it well. If you upset and offend people (again, your choice) you lost the chance to influence them and be a good example for those who are sober.

In this case I wasn’t judging, just trying to explain why “slowing down” is simply not an option for some people. I also don’t understand why quitting altogether is looked at in such a way that alternatives to it like “slowing down” are even suggested. Or people who use alcohol as a crutch insinuating that the sober people are the weak ones.

There are a lot of good books on psychology that you can read which would help you understand the human condition better. Take a look at Robert Green or Fyodor Dostoevsky.
 

I recently found this podcast. What I like about it is that some of the most successful, driven dudes out their are addicts. It’s not just a switch they can cut off. As nkhillbilly referenced, the traits that lead to alcoholism and addiction also drive extreme success in other very difficult things. My Dad is a lifelong alcoholic. Teacher of the year for the entire state, top officer at Army OCS, nationally recognized hero on every major news outlet for saving the lives of countless students, but…..he is chained by addiction equally. He doesn’t do anything 50% effort.

Personally, I have always been one of the most successful at everything chosen to do. From 14-28 I also got blackout drunk 100s if not 1000 times. Sounds like hyperbole but it’s sickening to think of all of the missed opportunities because I’ve gone so far on the ones I could keep together.

I’m praying for all of you guys who can’t find someone to support you. Really support snd understand what you are going through. It’s incredibly difficult but remember that insane drive that causes issues is the same drive that can get you on the other side.
You nailed it. It’s all or
Got it.


This has never really been much of an issue for me. I would reevaluate how you handle these scenarios. Learn how to move the conversation forward.


Yes, but, everything you do is judged by others. From the food you eat, car you drive to the clothes you wear.


Agreed. However, if you want to handle social situations where drinking is the norm in our culture. It behooves most people to handle it well. If you upset and offend people (again, your choice) you lost the chance to influence them and be a good example for those who are sober.



There are a lot of good books on psychology that you can read which would help you understand the human condition better. Take a look at Robert Green or Fyodor Dostoevsky.
Honestly I’m not one to tip toe around people. People who want to drink can have at all they want I deal with my drunk in-laws regularly. It doesn’t bother me in the least and I’m not trying to influence them to quit unless they come to me and ask. But if someone asks why I don’t drink I’m not gonna tiptoe around the subject. Especially if they ask in an obnoxious way or make some stupid comment about it. Maybe it’s just the hard drinking construction type crowd of people that I’m accustomed to dealing with where it takes a sharp tongue to shut people up who don’t tend to stop unless you shut em up good. If a man offers me a beer and I decline and he leaves it at that so do I. But if he keeps pushing that shit or starts poking fun he gets whatever he gets and I don’t feel bad about it.
 
Honestly I’m not one to tip toe around people. People who want to drink can have at all they want I deal with my drunk in-laws regularly. It doesn’t bother me in the least and I’m not trying to influence them to quit unless they come to me and ask. But if someone asks why I don’t drink I’m not gonna tiptoe around the subject. Especially if they ask in an obnoxious way or make some stupid comment about it. Maybe it’s just the hard drinking construction type crowd of people that I’m accustomed to dealing with where it takes a sharp tongue to shut people up who don’t tend to stop unless you shut em up good. If a man offers me a beer and I decline and he leaves it at that so do I. But if he keeps pushing that shit or starts poking fun he gets whatever he gets and I don’t feel bad about it.

That's fine. You have stated (at least 3x times on this page) that "I don't understand" and all the issues you have with others.

You also don't understand what I am saying. I am not telling you to tip toe. I am saying you should learn how to conduct yourself differently/better in social situations and much of the things you are complaining about will lessen.

Anyways, it sounds like you're not that interested in influencing/understanding, which is totally fine. I am truly glad you found sobriety and would just encourage you to try a different approach sometime. Maneuvering diligently is not a weakness and fighting fire with fire is not always a strength.
 
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