Planned hunt with new baby coming

[Where's Bruce?]

To donate a tag to a disabled vet visit https://www.veteranssportsmanalliance.org/. Very rewarding option.

 

[WhatToHunt]

It's all relative. I have buddies who would never be able to do it or, if they did, they'd suffer the consequences.

Looking back about nine years ago, I had a 2 year old daughter and my son was 2 months old when I left for a two week trip to chase mule deer. My wife had some help from others while I was away and it helped she grew up in a hunting family. Not everyone is so lucky.

Good luck!

 

[WCB]

I sympathize with you. Empathize actually. My second child was diagnosed with Pertussis (Whooping Cough), RSV and Pneumonia at 6 weeks of age. She was one of four babies exposed by an illegal alien. The CDC tracks this stuff carefully so that's how we know the source. My daughter was the sole survivor. Most often the infant loses 25% or more of their body weight in a 24 hour period but she took after me, had enough weight to beat the clock while emergency medical measures were undertaken. My wife & I had to resuscitate her over 50 times a day, basically throwing her over our shoulder and banging on her back with a cupped hand to loosen the foam that stopped her ability to breathe normally. We could not sleep at the same time because resuscitation might be necessary at any given moment. I recall my older brother visiting and seeing this...the baby gasping for air, choking, lips turning blue and by this time my wife and I had been at it for so many weeks we just looked at each other like, "Whose turn is it?" She's our miracle child, she was one of the few to beat the odds with Pertussis. We never saw it coming.

When you marry (before God) the two become one. You no longer put yourself first. You make changes, you compromise, you place the welfare of the family first. I stopped riding motorcycles for 30 years when i became a father, finally got one last year when we became empty nesters. The wife doesn't like it but she accepts I gave it up for decades and it was a big sacrifice. Her stupid brother once put the handlebars of his motorcycle through his abdomen and she was stuck nursing him back to health for over a year. I understand her fear. But she's a good woman who wants me to be happy. Our kids are grown and one now has kids of her own. Marriage vows are not ceremonial, they are life-long promises. Dads don't get to put themselves first anymore. Obligations and responsibilities trump "me time" and any dad that chooses hunting over being present for the birth of a child is clueless about parenting. These are the milestones in life, the moments that bond you into a deeper love. If you aren't present the day your baby enters the world and there to help during the very difficult first months...trust me, your in-laws, your extended family, your friends and many more will look at you like you are a loser. A selfish, unreliable, self-centered boy...not a man. These are the guys who get swallowed whole in family court, end up divorced and alone. Don't be that guy. Be the rock. Head of the household. Family first, no exceptions. You'll have plenty of opportunities to hunt. Missing out one of life's biggest milestones? That's just pathetic. But many set the bar so low you need a shovel to see it. That's our society today. Entitlement over recognized Domestic Priorities. If you place hunting higher than family, you don't deserve either.

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Just the opinion of a father-inlaw with daughters.

He isn't going to miss the birth...his hunt is 2 months after. I think the universal opinion would be definitely don't miss the birth and don't believe the OP would even be asking that question.

 

[grfox92]

If it was your first kid I would say do not go. Being it's your second, I would definetly go.



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[bensonfarms]

Congrats on your upcoming newborn. I was in your shoes last year, my wife and I had a baby in late March and I had plans to draw an elk tag for September. Draw deadlines come and go right about the same time our son was born, so my wife and I talked if I should wait a year or try to draw for the fall, not knowing what our lives would look like when hunting season came around. My wife insisted I apply and hunt that fall, I think she honestly would have been mad if I didn't. We are both big on supporting each other with our interests and hobbies. Our family is our life but what kind of life is it when you cannot have fun and make memories outside of time spent with family. I honestly feel that our children, if they grow up with it, grow to love the same hobbies and interests. At least that's what we all hope for. Leading up to season, I didn't do anything different (trying to kiss ass) because that should be everyday all year round, not just before and after a hunting trip. But certainly make accommodations for you wife to help her through the time you're gone. Line up family to help out and give her a break, premade meals are a big help, a in reach or cell service is a huge comfort for my wife, and lastly make sure she knows how grateful you are that you get to go. Marriage is a team sport, always root for each other and do everything for one another. Coming home to your beautiful family, will be just as good if not better than pulling the trigger on a bull. Good luck hunting and good luck with the new addition.

 

[JFK]

Definitely wouldn’t miss the birth of my child to hunt. Also I think it goes without saying that if anything were to go sideways after the birth, with either the baby or my wife, I’d pull the plug on the hunt. Sorry if I wasn’t clear in my original post but I thought those things were a given.

 

[CTXhunter]

Like others have said, be superdad before and after. Maybe take your wife on a weekend getaway before the new baby gets here. Regularly tell her that you appreciate the opportunity many other men don’t have. Don’t let her touch a dirty dish or a vacuum for months before or after and it just might turn into a lifestyle of superdad that will improve your family life for the better.

Lastly, congrats on the new addition. My son was born in august and I did an October hunt last year. It’s tough on your wife, so be sure to coordinate help at home, or even send the older kid to grandparents house for half the time or something. Good luck!

 

[hfk]

In this same boat. Tough spot for sure.

 

[Meshnasty]

I'd go.

We have our second kid due in late June. Hopefully, my wife can turkey hunt this spring, I'll take some time for spring bear, fly fish right up to when the kid is born, then I'll take a break until I have a 10 day hunt sometime in September/October, and then a shorter 5 to 7 day hunt at the end of October/early November. My wife was thinking about applying for a January hunt as well. We will all go together if it works, our first kid went on her first hunt at 9 months old and I carried her through the mountains so my wife could elk hunt for 12 days this fall.

Don't let having a kid(s) slow you down. If you can make it work go. Since my wife has the kid/baby duties anytime I'm gone, my answer to anything she wants to do or wants me to do at any time is yes.

 

[kpk]

I didn't hunt after my daughter was born because I chose not to, not because the wife said no. The little ones change so fast I didn't want to miss any of those first milestones. I don't regret spending time with my daughter and missing out on a couple hunts.

She turned 3 in Oct. and I did two out of state trips this past season that were a week each. Now, she's old enough to video chat and that's really helped.

 

[awasome]

Go on the hunt and enjoy yourself, but do some work leading up to the hunt to support your wife.

Make sure your wife it setup with groceries and other chores done before you leave so she doesn't have to worry about doing them. Arrange for your MIL or your mom or other family members to come stay with them and help with the kiddo's.

 

[Tedhunts]

I had a similar situation 25 yrs ago..... Had twins (boy/girl) in late Sept... Bow hunted 4 days early in Oct. with her blessing, as her mom was going to be staying at the house. Things went good on both ends, but........
"BE PREPARED TO HEAR ABOUT IT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE"!!!!! She still brings it up around friends and family and like a good hunting story....the facts get stretched a little more every year!!! LOL

 

[Buglady97]

Wanted to bounce this off some others since I figured some on here have been through this.

My wife will be having a baby this year, mid August. It’ll be our second. I had an elk hunt planned for mid Oct. Fairly certain I will draw. When we found out we were having another baby a few months back I pretty much put the trip on hold, mostly out of respect for the fact that I’d be leaving my wife home with a 3 year old and a 2 month old infant. My wife is telling me to go…says it will be tough but I deserve it. I’d be gone 10 or so days.

Now I’m thinking about going based on her encouragement. Is this a trap? Is it a shitty move to go? We do have family close and she’d have lots of help, but I can’t get passed the fact that it seems kinda selfish to go out of state elk hunting while she’s wrangling a new born and our son.

Opinions?

You should go, trust that your wife is being honest with you.

 

[cjdewese]

Ultimately you know your wife and situation better than anyone on this forum.

If she is the kind of person to not make you feel bad for going when she told you to, then definitely go.

As others have said, just make sure you do your part before you leave to make it as easy as it can be. See if someone you know and trust would stay with her while you were out to help with stuff if it comes up. Make sure you have an in-reach or some way to communicate if necessary then go kill a giant.

Once you kill said giant, take a picture for your wife only with you taking a bite out of his heart reminding her that she married a man, one that she has already had 2 kids with and go live a happy life together.

 

[Eyeman]

I had the same situation a few years ago when I had a Colorado Elk Hunt in October and drew my Nevada Elk tag for 1st part of December. The baby was born late August.
First off I have an awesome wife. Then I have a great mother in law. I guess I am fortunate for both.
The wife says go for and I got the mother in law to fly in for help.
It worked out for me!

 

[Buffalo]

I was in the same boat this year. First born turning 3 a few days after second child’s due date (August 29). I had the opportunity to go on a hunt early November but chose not to so I could stay home with the fam. I didn’t even discuss it with my wife. It would have been a 20 hour drive away so if anything were to happen… I didn’t regret for one minute not going. I may or may not have regretted it if I went. My wife had a rough recovery after the first kid and I didn’t want to chance it. Everything went fine this time around so it probably would have been ok. I just did local day hunts this year. Not the same adventure as a big hunting trip, but I liked being home with my young family and my wife appreciated it to.

 

[HANGum HIGH]

After reading lots of these comments, I'm wondering if women are no longer capable of handling 2 children for a short period of time alone? If she was straight out of the hospital it would be one thing. But 2 months into it? Batten down the hatches and got hunting if you all talked and she says go....

 

[CJohnson]

I don’t know how to answer your question because I don’t know you or your wife. I also don’t have anyone close by to help my wife when I’m gone and vice versa.

I miss my kids and my wife when I’m gone for extended trips. Heck I missed them when I was quarantined for covid a few weeks ago. However, it’s important to me that I go hunting now so that my kids will want to go with me in the future. There’s always a chance they won’t be interested, but I don’t want to take 10 years off and then try to dive back in.

 

[canyonhunter47]

The real answer depends on your wife (and her postpartum recovery), your 3 y/o, and whatever help you might round up. And you, whether you’ll get homesick and bail because you miss them.

Also is this a tag you already have? how many points and for what state are we talking?

After reading lots of these comments, I'm wondering if women are no longer capable of handling 2 children for a short period of time alone?

Lol. How well can you handle a 2 month old AND a 3 year old on your own for a couple weeks?

 

[HANGum HIGH]

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The real answer depends on your wife (and her postpartum recovery), your 3 y/o, and whatever help you might round up. And you, whether you’ll get homesick and bail because you miss them.

Also is this a tag you already have? how many points and for what state are we talking?


Lol. How well can you handle a 2 month old AND a 3 year old on your own for a couple weeks?

I would take care of three kids while my wife went with her mom and sister on trips. Not anything overwhelming. It's what we signed up for when having kids.