Memorable lines from grandpas

[Crowmangler]

OK, for some entertainment.... what's some good lines you heard from your dad/ grandpa?

1. "We were so poor we had to eat dried fruit for breakfast, drink water for lunch & swell up for supper"

2. "boy... you could tear up an anvil in a sandbox"

3. "that man's so lazy, if you shot him it'd take him 3 days to die"

 

[bbell]

Grandpa: what’s the #1 rule of the woods when you go hunting?

6 year old me: Bring a gun.

Grandpa: No... bring butt wipe.

 

[Randle]

That dog crapped a pile so high 2 grown men couldn't shake hands over it.

 

[Bouldercreek]

Be on guard against someone who can bleed for a week and not die.

 

[Crippledsledge64]

“You can go broke on good deals” and random Finnish phrases like istu istu “sit down, sit down”

 

[Jherek]

My Dad, don't be screwing around on that bike, we got alot of hay to bale today!

Me, screwing around on that bike, and end up getting hurt.

Dad, well what the hell good are you to me now???

Oh the comforting worth for a 12 year old from him Farther.... lol

 

[EastMT]

After a day loading hay for him:
“You boys took long enough, you been farming or out smelling melons?”

Raising a young orphan cow that was a pet:
“Sure you can ride her, just jump off that feeder and hop on, she knows you” hahaha worked out well

 

[5MilesBack]

My Dad, don't be screwing around on that bike, we got alot of hay to bale today!

Me, screwing around on that bike, and end up getting hurt.

Dad, well what the hell good are you to me now???

Oh the comforting worth for a 12 year old from him Farther.... lol

When I was in 4th grade I fell on my right knee while jumping rocks on a rock pile. A few days later there I am with my knee the size of a grapefruit and can't even bend it, and he comes in and yells at me for not getting outside to help him with the work. He says "rub some dirt on it and you'll be fine.......now get out there and give me a hand".

A few days later I'm in the hospital getting treated for a major staph infection. Oh the love....LOL. Pretty sure his demeanor wore off on me. Probably why I never became a doctor......I'm pretty much like Dr. House on TV.

 

[beerbucksducks]

“Take my money, call me honey.”
“Eat a cherry and you’ll be sick for 50 years.”
“Don’t use why and grandma in the same sentence.”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Ten Bears]

from my great grandfather on his 90th bday..

Tata what's it like being 90 ?

"I hate it, everyone talks to me like I am a baby, everyone I like is dead, and I have been married to her (points towards great grandma" for 70 years...

 

[BeastOfTheTrees]

“Remember when you take that oath it says, defend against enemies foreign and DOMESTIC!”

Pa really hated the injustices that happen in our nation.

 

[elkguide]

"There is a fine line between dumb and stupid...……"

"DON'T CROSS IT!!!!"

 

[Blackcow]

Not my grandpa but my dad
“A man that knows how has a job, the man that knows why is his boss, and the man that knows both how and why most likely owns the company.”
To me, my 3 sisters and brother, at some point in our childhood” You only know HOW I can be a hardass to you, but you won’t know WHY until you have some kids “
Big how and why guy lol.

 

[Axlrod]

Working on my grandfathers ranch when i was a kid he would say: " all i want to see is a$$holes and elbows"

 

[spike camp]

Eat your desert first, Incase you keel over before dinner is served.

 

[elkduds]

Don't be sorry, just don't do it.

I'm glad you got to see me today.

 

[Alegault]

Heard a good one from a buddy’s dad.

On a fishing trip, a friend was describing how his gf had just moved in, they share finances, etc so they were “basically married”.

Buddy’s dad has been silent for hours pipes up from the other side of the boat “do you still get b***j***?”

everyone kind of looks up like did he really just say that. Friend says “yea I do”

Dad “you ain’t married”.

Group busted up laughing. The Dad didn’t say another word until it was time to head back in.

 

[HuntHarder]

"If you are going to be dumb, you better be tough"

 

[dukhunt]

I ain’t had this much fun since Joan (Grandma) got her titty stuck in a ringer.

 

[AndyB]

''I wouldn't join a piece of string''.

My Grandad when asked by my uncle if he should join the army.
Grandad volunteered in 1940 and spent the war in North Africa, Burma/India.