keep the house after divorce? financial advisor?

[180ls1]

Financial advisor here but I focus more so on business/owners.

There are advisors who focus on this specifically (CDFA). Would he like a referral and is he OK paying a fee of several thousand? Its very likely worth it.

 

[KenLee]

"She wants him to"... stop right there for a sec. I'm making no assumptions but sounds like she is the one who blew everything up & wants him to help make her life easier for what is another example of a woman making a stupid decision. Tell him to play hard ball when negotiating all this. He can & should make demands too.
Marriage is love... divorce is business

Apparently Hawaii is a no fault divorce state and court doesn't care who did what, so not a bunch of leverage to play except she wants cash in hand asap.

 

[bojangles808]

Rental income = higher child support payments. No way in hell I'd buy her out at half of true equity plus pay her more per month.

thats a good point about child support going up as rental income goes up

 

[bojangles808]

Financial advisor here but I focus more so on business/owners.

There are advisors who focus on this specifically (CDFA). Would he like a referral and is he OK paying a fee of several thousand? Its very likely worth it.

pm sent

 

[307]

Divorce may be business, but having a workable relationship with the other parent can be really important. It's a balance between defending your best interests and not seeking unnecessary conflict which can make co parenting a nightmare.

I wish him luck.

As for the property, I'd probably be in the camp of selling everything and splitting things as cleanly as possible. Peace of mind is worth a lot.

 

[bojangles808]

Tell Buddy to hire a good Private Investigator yesterday and keep his pecker dry.
Getting rid of any chance of paying alimony is his best investment right now.

Edit: Looked up Hawaii alimony law. Adultery doesn't cut off potential right to alimony. Ain't that some bullshit!

how does alimony work?I always assumed its for the wall st guy getting divorced from the wife at home who stays at home with the kids all day bc he ran off with his mistress. He pays her alimony bc he made all the money and she didn't work but she needs something to keep up a standard of similar living. or is it bc of the cheating aspect? ironically my friends ex wanted to work when she didn't have to bc they made enough with his paycheck/rental income. He also built the in law suite that generated the majority of the rental income by himself. she has floated wanting alimony payments which is why i asked

 

[Reburn]

how does alimony work?I always assumed its for the wall st guy getting divorced from the wife at home who stays at home with the kids all day bc he ran off with his mistress. He pays her alimony bc he made all the money and she didn't work but she needs something to keep up a standard of similar living. or is it bc of the cheating aspect? ironically my friends ex wanted to work when she didn't have to bc they made enough with his paycheck/rental income. He also built the in law suite that generated the majority of the rental income by himself. she has floated wanting alimony payments which is why i asked

Im not going to research HI but most states have alimony or child support not both.

Sometimes the easiest way to handle these things is just do nothing. Its easy to make bad decisions when emotions are running high.

 

[Rich M]

This stuff is for the attorney - let the guy or gal earn the $ they will charge. They have done this before and will do what is best for their client. The thing is to get the best atty possible.

Alimony is for her to maintain her standard of living. The courts have traditionally been kind to women cause the man used to be the bread winner and she could never make as much as him so she's entitled to a chunk of his salary for X years until she can either snag another well paid hubby or get a better job herself.

Child support is one thing - ends when kid hits 18 and usually has some provisions for paying for college - but I'd fight tooth and nail to avoid alimony.

It is beneficial that she has worked, that way there is a salary for her to be included in the negotiations.

Divorce is some nasty stuff - work your butt off, wife banging the pool boy (not saying she is or isn't - no idea), and then you have to pay her to be comfortable cause you made more money by working all the time. That's a real case of monkey-butt right there.

 

[Fatcamp]

This situation needs an attorney.

That's coming from a guy who wrote his own divorce decree, kept his house, and was custodial guardian of the kids.

Your friend needs someone experienced to guide him through this.

 

[Andrew12gauge]

If he wants to leave a mark - sell it all - everything they own. Then divide the proceeds. Then negotiate the rest - CS for kid and alimony for wife. The mere selling of everything they own will put her at ground zero.

Financial folks are starting to tell newlyweds to keep separate finances. This is why. Say 50% chance of divorce, either don't get married or protect yourself when you get married.

But it’s only 50% across all marriages, how many of those 50% are 2nd or 3rd failed mortgages


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[KenLee]

But it’s only 50% across all marriages, how many of those 50% are 2nd or 3rd failed mortgages


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Who stops at 3?
I assume u meant marriages not mortgages

 

[KenLee]

how does alimony work?I always assumed its for the wall st guy getting divorced from the wife at home who stays at home with the kids all day bc he ran off with his mistress. He pays her alimony bc he made all the money and she didn't work but she needs something to keep up a standard of similar living. or is it bc of the cheating aspect? ironically my friends ex wanted to work when she didn't have to bc they made enough with his paycheck/rental income. He also built the in law suite that generated the majority of the rental income by himself. she has floated wanting alimony payments which is why i asked

Alimony is usually ordered when there is a big difference in income between the spouses. That's on top of child support.
In most states, proving adultery cuts off the cheater's claim to Alimony, but not if both spouses get caught for adultery.

 

[cnelk]

The welfare of any minor children is a top priority of the court.

A Parenting Plan has to be submitted along with Financials (among other things).

The Court will decide Child Support Allowance based on each Financials.

One regret I had is the Court said I was entitled to Child Support paid by the ex-wife.
The amount was just under $100/month ( 2 kids).

I had the opportunity to decline the CS and I did, thinking it wasn’t all that much.

Well, I can tell you that $100/mo would’ve gone a long way in helping raise 2 teenage kids by myself.

Divorce isn’t the time to be ‘Mr Nice Guy’.

 

[KenLee]

Truth

The welfare of any minor children is a top priority of the court.

A Parenting Plan has to be submitted along with Financials (among other things).

The Court will decide Child Support Allowance based on each Financials.

One regret I had is the Court said I was entitled to Child Support paid by the ex-wife.
The amount was just under $100/month ( 2 kids).

I had the opportunity to decline the CS and I did, thinking it wasn’t all that much.

Well, I can tell you that $100/mo would’ve gone a long way in helping raise 2 teenage kids by myself.

Divorce isn’t the time to be ‘Mr Nice Guy’.

Truth!

 

[bojangles808]

thank you all this has been helpful

 

[KenLee]

Im not going to research HI but most states have alimony or child support not both.

Sometimes the easiest way to handle these things is just do nothing. Its easy to make bad decisions when emotions are running high.

If you want to do nothing, hire a damn good lawyer to do nothing for you. Deadlines are real and the friend can royally mess up by sticking his head in the sand.

 

[Reburn]

If you want to do nothing, hire a damn good lawyer to do nothing for you. Deadlines are real and the friend can royally mess up by sticking his head in the sand.

Yes sir you are right. I assumed his friend would have a lawyer. I should have phrased it something like. Its easy to make bad decisions while tempers and tensions are high I would take all the time allowed to come to sane rational decisions and not rush things.

 

[Snowwolfe]

thats what Im trying to get him to pull off. I'll have him give a look at a cash out refi except i think he;d lose that 2.5% though?

Yes, he will lose the 2.5% note.
If he bought the house using a VA loan he can refinance for extremely low closing costs. No way to do it without a huge increase in payments due to the added principal and higher interest rate.

 

[bojangles808]

Yes sir you are right. I assumed his friend would have a lawyer. I should have phrased it something like. Its easy to make bad decisions while tempers and tensions are high I would take all the time allowed to come to sane rational decisions and not rush things.

He's consulted with a lawyer once or twice or something like that. I think since they've boh committed to the mediation he hasn't gone all in with the lawyer yet.

 

[Reburn]

He's consulted with a lawyer once or twice or something like that. I think since they've boh committed to the mediation he hasn't gone all in with the lawyer yet.

My advice is get the best laywer on retainer before she does.