Funniest story while hunting?

[GundamBarbatos]

Let’s hear it! Definitely interested to hear some stories.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

We were hare hunting in Northern WI and I was with my younger brother. He had to drop a deuce so I turned around. I here this Holy (*$#ing &^#$ and turn around and a hare had run right passed him not a foot away. I had to put my gun down as I was laughing so hard, almost crying.

 

[Beendare]

There's a statute of limitations on this one.....

I was rifle hunting late season Elk in Colorado about 1979 with a couple of resident guys I met through my sister. We became fast friends. We had spotted a group of elk that were watering at first light 3 miles from camp....so it was a hump through deep snow from camp to get to them right at first light.


My buddy Eugene was having a hard time keeping up....and I got to the bowl and shot a nice 5x5 bull right at the water. There were about 25 elk with another bull still in the bunch. The elk were filing out as Gene was trotting up the hill. He got to the lip of the bowl and yelled to me, "Where are they?" they were circling the bowl now about 450y from him on a full run and about 10 seconds from popping out of there gone forever.

He shot and dang it if that bull didn't drop in mid stride....to this day one of the best rifle shots I've personally seen. He starts yelling again....where is he where is he with blood streaming down his face from being scoped. I was about 100y from him not hearing a word I said blood in his shooting eye and frantically trying to line up again for another shot.

He had no idea he pinwheeled that dink bull on a dead run at 450y plus....

 

[Nickofthewoods]

One time I got out of work early to meet some family and friends for a 2nd rifle season hunt here in Colorado. I coordinated with my brother in law to catch a ride to camp with one of his co-workers who I had never met. Nice guy, a little out there. We had some strange religios and alien themed conversations in the car. Fast forward ten years and my brother in law sends me an article with the guy's mugshot. He had stabbed a guy to death in an alley in downtown Denver. Now we joke that he set me up a carpool to our hunting camp with a convicted murderer.

 

[strousek]

Several years back my brother and I we were hunting a late season bull tag in an old burn area. We were glassing from the top of one of the ridges that had been completely scorched years ago but there was hardly a stick in sight. We found a group of bulls across the canyon headed up to bed. Looking at their trajectory we knew that we had to move fast to cut them off before they went into the nasty thick stuff and disappear like elk tend to do. We grabbed our bags and took off with haste. There was all but one old skinny lodgepole tree trunk on that hillside. My brother walking quickly, unknowingly stepped on that sucker so perfect that it came up and speared me on a dead bullseye to both family jewels. I mean not one more stick within in a quarter mile and here I lay riving in pain as he giggles like a school girl. I finally got my balls out of my throat and we trekked 3 miles across the canyon to never see those bulls again.

 

[WhatToHunt]

Age 12, my first year of gun deer season in WI, I got cold so started walking a path toward my brother. In the path was a muskrat, although I'd never seen one before so I had no idea what the critter was and I used caution. I stomped my foot and threw a stick near it, but the dang thing jumped toward me. I back peddled the way I came and the thing followed me. I kept going back and he was still on my trail. I ended up going clear in the opposite direction about 300 yards to my dad and I approached his tree stand with fear in my eyes nearly out of breath. After explaining to him what transpired, he said, "Son, you have a 12 gauge shotgun in your hands and you're afraid of a little animal?!" Feeling embarrassed I trekked back to my spot. Sure enough that muskrat showed up under my dad's tree not long after, thing was on my trail and out for blood.

 

[Pulleye16]

Bear hunting. We had a cabin up near the Canadian boarder which was a good 4.5hr drive for us. As some may know, you can start bear baiting 3 weeks prior to the hunt. Well, after 3 weeks of my dad and I making the trek to bait bear and having no luck, my dad decided we would take my sisters car up to save on gas expecting we wouldn't get one...and her car was a two door geo metro hatchback.

Well, as one would guess, I poked a nice bear. The 4.5hr drive was humorous to say the least. with the black bear stuffed in the back hatch, face plastered to the glass with the whole body taking up the rear, we got lots of looks! and plenty of laughs!

 

[gwtravis]

I once rented a mechanical auger to hunt down and clear some roots from a sewer line but instead of the auger going down the sewer line it went up the vent stack and out and over the roof down into a trash can with a bag full of old paint cans. When I turned the auger on it grabbed the bag of paint cans and smashed them against the side of my house turning 50 feet of siding and a raised deck into a Jackson Pollock art piece.

I persevered and eventually got the auger pointed in the right direction and killed the roots so job well done.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

1997. We had moved to Washington from Missouri for a temporary assignment and I was deer hunting at our land in Missouri. I had rented a small car and dang I had shot a huge buck. My dad and my buddy both had to leave after day 3 and I had hung the buck. Then it got cold, real cold and the sumbitch froze solid. He wouldn't fit in the trunk so I had to put him in the back seat with his hind legs sticking out one of the back windows. As Pulleye said, I too got some strange looks as I drove back to our house near St. Louis that we still owned. When I returned the car the gal asked me if everything was OK. I replied to her that they should do something about the smell in the back seat.

 

[Steve300xcw]

One of the guys from work wanted to go hunt. So We took his rig an went up to his spot. Didnt seem like the guy that was going to be gone from the truck for long, so I kinda hung near him an then veered off, then would catch back up with him.

I spot him sitting down against a stump, so I work that way, find my own stump a lil ways away from him and sit down.

He kept looking over at me, giving me these weird hand signals. idkwtf he's doin, but jimmy was kinda a weird dude, so whatever.


After a while he stands up, "FAWK IT THEN!!" and goes stomping off down the ridge.

I have no idea who that guy was, but it wasnt jimmy

 

[wyosteve]

Many years ago, I had a friend who was a big SOB. About 6'4", 280. Anyway, he was in his portable, climbing tree stand and nature called. Rather than climbing down, he lowered his coveralls and did his duty. Pulled the coveralls back up and shortly thereafter smelled something. Turns out his 'deposit' dropped into his coveralls instead of on the ground!!

 

[HairyScandinavian]

OK I got one from when my oldest son was about 7 years old maybe give or take, wasn't old enough to shoot yet so may have been a little younger. It's Texas so we trickled corn down the roads with thick impenetrable brush lining both sides of the road in all directions and drive out over the hill and walked about 400 yards back to the tripod to set up in. Dark starts to set in and a big group of javelina are mowing down the corner between us and the truck. I stupidly mentioned something about walking through them in the dark back to the truck and kiddo wasn't having it. I offered to walk now before dark and he still wasn't having it and wanted me to shoot them all (lol). He agreed that he'd wait in the tripod and I'd go get the truck and come back but I had to do it before dark. Seemed like a good idea at the time. So off I go through the javelina and they scatter and do their tusk chomping thing to let me know how loco they are, no big deal. I get about halfway to the truck and I hear this God awful blood curtling screaming going on. Turn around and kid is still safely up in the tripod but man he's screaming bloody murder. I run in place for a second torn between which way to go then decide I'm a little closer to the truck so I throw all my stuff off the side of the road and sprint to the truck with everything I have in me, fire it up and fly down the road and catch air coming over that hill and skid to a halt in front of the tripod fly out the door and trying to figure out what's going on. Kiddo is balling uncontrollably so I climb up and try to calm him down, grab him and pull him to the truck and close the doors. I'm looking for missing limbs or snake bites anything, no blood LOL nothing. Finally he's able to talk and I'm asking what happened.
"I heard a noise."
A noise? For real?
"Yeah it went shooooooo shooooooooo"
A couple doe had walked up behind that tripod and snorted at him but he couldn't see what it was in the thick brush.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

Another one, 1987, first time deer hunting in Missouri. I get out a mile or so from camp at O-Dark-Thirty on public land and set up my climber. It was dark as hell and I went up a wee bit farther than usual. About 15 minutes before shooting hours, I had a serious #2 a-brewing. I decided to drop my trousers and sail it off the stand. I get done with business and 15 minutes later killed a nice 9 pointer.

 

[strousek]

One more from me. I grew up in the mountains of CO hunting elk and mule deer so knew nothing of whitetail besides what I saw on the TV shows. Just out of high school I went out to Kansas to bow hunt with a guy who did nothing but hunt whitetail his whole life. First day we are getting ready to head to the stand and he hands me an empty mason jar. I am a little confused and ask what this is for. He mentions that whitetail can smell a human 100 miles away so ABSOLUTELY no peeing in the woods. If you have to pee in the stand, piss in the mason jar and close it up tight. If they get one whiff of human pee they are gone!

Off I went to the stand with my mason jar thinking it was silly but hey this guy knows his stuff. Just as the sun was cresting the hay field I felt that 12 pack of beer I had the night before turn over in my guts. I knew that there was no way that I was going to do that in this damn mason jar. I hurried out of the stand and ran to a stack of round bails 100 yards away. Once finished I hopped back up in the stand, embarrassed and ashamed of what just came out of me and how I was sure I ruined our chances of even seeing a deer that hunt. Not 5 minutes later here comes a doe down the field edge right to them round bails. Wouldn't you know it that she walked right up and stuck her nose in the pile I had made without a care in the world.

I never had the nerve to tell that guy but the rest of that hunt I never once used the mason jar. I ended up seeing twice the deer he did and had more deer walk by where I had peed than by the feeders he had placed out.

 

[Phat Cowboy]

One of my good buddies showed up to deer camp with a new set of bino's which he got for a "screaming deal" and went on and on how impressed he was with them. He kept insisting that we all try them out and see how "great" they are. I had no interest at first, my other buddies including his brother looked at them, unimpressed but too afraid to say anything and disappoint the man. Finally I relented after being told by the other two gentlemen in confidence that they thought he got ripped off and of course myself (no filter) immediately stated "these or a piece of shit" best part...once I cleaned the grease off the inside of the lenses and adjusted the diopter for which he didn't even realize existed they were perfect to the amazement of my friend

 

[fatlander]

I live in a part of the world where deer hunting with hounds is a traditional as old as Europeans being on this continent. Stepping in dog crap while deer hunting with hounds is an unfavorable but all too common occurrence. One cold December day, my uncle went and took a dump. About 30 minutes later, we got in the truck to keep up with a pack of hounds. In the truck, with that heater cranking, the smell of hound s*** was getting stronger by the minute. We pulled the truck over to check our boots, finding nothing, my uncle berates everyone in the truck saying they needed a bath. The smell and cursing continued. We got out of the truck a few minutes later and he threw the hood up on his coveralls. The dump he had taken earlier was running down his back. He’d unknowingly filled the hood up during his bathroom break.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[3325]

I don’t have any first hand, but my father told one that always made me chuckle. And he always laughed when he told it.

My father was a small boy and coon hunting with my grandpa, who had a reputation locally as a top houndsman and owner of a top notch black and tan hound named “Ol’ Drive” (Apparently, affectionately referring to a dog as “Ol’” before his name means he’s REALLY good.).

Anyway, one night Ol’ Drive caught up to a coon in a creek and a big fight ensued in the water. I think the backstory was that the coon had treed and jumped the tree, so both dogs and people were already close.

Another hound was barking from the bank but not going in. The coon had balled up on Ol’ Drive’s head and was forcing him under. Grandpa waded out in waist deep water and stuck a .22 against the coon’s head and killed it to keep Ol’ Drive from drowning.

What did Ol’ Drive do? He hit the bank and jumped on the other dog that wouldn’t get in the water and join the fight! Now there’s a big dog fight on the bank to break up. Everyone supposed that Ol’ Drive was mad at the other dog not being any help in his fight with the coon.

My father said he was eight years old when he witnessed this. Decide if you believe it. I do.

 

[NorthIdahoDude]

Was deer hunting with my wife in BC (Canada), both of us in full camo including face cover. We were sneaking carefully along a game trail towards the area where we wanted to set up for the afternoon sit-and-wait. Wind was blowing about 2-3 MPH coming at us from about 10 o'clock. Just as we are cresting a little rise, I spotted a cow elk in a clearing about 25 yards ahead. Elk season had closed 2 days before, but elk encounters are always fun, so I gave my wife the 'stop + be still' hand signal and we both froze and watched.

After a few minutes, the cow apparently bored of the plants she was munching on in the small clearing, and started heading up the hill directly towards us. We maintained perfect stillness, and didn't even breathe. The cow came along the trail to about 5-10 feet, then made like to walk around us as if we were trees. By happenstance, she chose to go around us on our left, not the right, so the wind maintained perfect direction for her to not get a whiff of us.

She was literally so close to me I could have reached out and slapped her on the hindquarter without having to fully extend my arm to do it, when she stopped and squatted. Elk piss flowed in copious quantities, a fair amount of which splashed onto my boot (I was thankful it was waterproof!!). Once she finished her business, she started heading up the trail.

About that time, my wife lost her composure and giggled at me getting my boot pissed on, and that scared the beejezus out of the elk, who started 'barking' at us. The woods around us exploded with crunching brush and elk calls. A big monster of a bull stepped into the clearing just downhill where she had been feeding and bellowed, and all the other elk heeled around and headed his way as the herd high-tailed it out of there.

So, getting pissed on by a cow elk = funny as hell, and the whole experience overall = easily in the top 10 most awesome things that ever happened to me while hunting.

 

[cnelk]

2006 - Archery elk season Colorado.

Woke up in he middle of the night with one of these in the wall tent

You can only imagine what happened next….

 

[Luked]

Will tell one on my pops from years ago.
Hes been gone 17 years now.

We have a public area in the north part of state we used to go to a lot in deer season. There would be 6 or more of us all go. Camp in tents and campers etc.
We always went up there for Blackpowder season which at the time was in late December/January timeframe back then.

To set this story up a bit the camp ground we stayed at is a large gravel parking lot. Has a large mowed area around the parking lot for tents. Around the Permitter of the parking lot the conservation dept has placed huge rocks so people couldn't drive out of the parking lot.
This lot also sits on a bit of a knob with each side of it having a pretty good downhill angle to the wood line.

So one day while up there hunting there was 5-6 of us and we had got a pretty good snow fall through the day and that evening. Had 6-8 inches on the ground.

Sometime in the middle of the night my dad went out to take a dump so he walked off toward the wood line, drops his drawers and squats down, finishes his business and drops his TP...the TP rolls down the hill on the white snow and he cant see anything. So there he is needing to wipe his a$$ and he cant find the White TP on the White snow.
He finally walks back up to the tent he was sleeping in, pants halfway down everything hanging out and gets some more TP and heads back out. Just about the time my brother wakes up as he heard dad moving around as he walks out the tent.

Dad tells us what happened the next day and everyone got a good laugh out of it.

Dads Birthday comes up in Feb, Someone found and bought him a small roll of TP that was in this little dispenser case thing and had a lanyard on it. And put a note on the card saying "Hopefully you don't drop this one"