Dimentia and hunting

[nam1975]

My 75 year old dad has it. Seems ok 90% of the time. Thought it was mild until he called me lost in the woods this weekend about 2 miles away in the neighbors old barn. Basically went on a walk about. Thankfully it was a morning hunt and Find my Friends On the I phone was working.
Which I had previously set up for reasons like this.

I guess I’ll hunt with him in a ground blind a bit and babysit a little better, but when do I tell him it’s time to retire? Getting lost, gun safety etc.

It sucks cause for various reasons my circle of hunting friends is down to him lately. Guess I’ll carry on solo until new are made.

Would appreciate any advice.

 

[bsnedeker]

I hate to say it man, but it's time to hang out up now in my opinion. The gun safety issue alone does it. A confused man walking around the woods with a loaded weapon is a receipe for disaster.

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[Crowmangler]

Have you had a very honest & direct discussion with him about it yet?
It will go over much better if he understands what happened & acknowledges the potential big problems.

 

[grfox92]

Go out together. Share a gun. You hold it til it's time to shoot. Explain to him why based on the barn incident. Be tactful.

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[Mt Al]

Not fun, been there. Call the Alzheimer's hotline in your town/state/national number and get some expert advise. A lot has to do with whether he recognizes it or not. If they do, it's hard but easier. If they don't, very hard to deal with.

Also depends how fast he's declining. Amazing how slow for some, how fast for others. At a minimum someone should be with him.

Sorry about this, not fun at all and very cruel.

 

[grappling_hook]

When I take my 12-year-old out, and usually same deal when I take my 16-year-old, we stick together the entire hunt (whether hunkered down calling/waiting or spot-and-stalk) and I carry the single gun until an animal is spotted. I hope when I am in your dad’s position one day that they will do the same for me— bring me along, stay close the whole time, and carry the gun until it’s my time to shoot.

 

[Werty]

If you haven't gotten it diagnosed yet, you should confirm it first.
Then go hunt with him and take one day at a time.

 

[Rich M]

Keep hunting with him. being disoriented in the woods is easy enough. If yer gonna be with him, will be fine.

I would say to keep hunting with him til you check him into a home cause it’s too much to handle

 

[nam1975]

He has had an initial diagnosis, and is aware. He also had a mild stroke, so this gets mixed in with some speech issues to make the evaluations more difficult. But the decline does not seem rapid.

As others stated above, I’m going to treat him as a young novice hunter. Basically a 10 or 12 year old. You know they’re ready to hunt, but you wouldn’t turn them loose on their own.

Thanks for the input. Much appreciated!

 

[Boarmaster]

When my dad declined I knew the time left was precious. I always tried to make him feel like he was still in charge. I asked him his opinion on things more to make him feel like he was still needed. Like you I knew I had to look out after him and I never wanted him to lose his pride. I knew his solo hunting was over the morning he couldn't figure out how to get his day pack adjusted. Not long after he hung it up on his own.

 

[flatlanderhuffandpuff]

I would agree with having a single gun between you and him and holding it until it's time to shoot. I would imagine it is simply a reversal of rolls from when you were first joining him in the woods.

 

[505Wapiti]

This is a sad but very real topic and I feel for the OP and anyone in this situation. Whether it is Alzheimer’s or vascular dementia, etc., it is nothing to take lightly. For those who find themselves as caretakers, there is a book called The 36 Hour Day that I think is a must read.

 

[Fatcamp]

Not fun, been there. Call the Alzheimer's hotline in your town/state/national number and get some expert advise. A lot has to do with whether he recognizes it or not. If they do, it's hard but easier. If they don't, very hard to deal with.

Also depends how fast he's declining. Amazing how slow for some, how fast for others. At a minimum someone should be with him.

Sorry about this, not fun at all and very cruel.

I will add that input from his Dr if it is someone he trusts can help. So sorry. Dementia sucks so bad. Be thankful for the 90%, but get some expert help and guidance. You are already beginning the grieving process whether you recognize it or not and some support can be really beneficial.

 

[intunegp]

I'm in the same boat. I grew up whitetail hunting every weekend of the season with my dad and grandpa in Georgia starting at about age 12. I'm 29 now and grandpa turns 90 between now and 2nd rifle. The three of us have been hunting elk together since 2013 and I moved to Colorado in 2016, so our elk trip and a few days around Christmas are our only opportunities to reunite the three-generations gang and hit the woods.

He's been forgetful and speculative that it was coming for years, but grandpa was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's just before our 2020 hunt. I think the diagnosis was a curse...when he forgot something he used to stammer and stutter and rack his brain until eventually it came out. Now every time he can't remember some private's name from 'Nam back in '68 he just goes "this damn Alzheimer's I tell ya" and moves along. But that is beside the point.

For some background, he is still totally self sufficient, and otherwise healthy. He has a handful of daily prescription meds but not a fraction of what most of his peers take. He has lived by himself since 2013 when my grandmother passed away. He buys his own groceries and takes care of the house and yard. He takes himself to all his doctor's appointments and makes a daily visit to the local Site One to ruffle the guys' feathers, they're old friends. He and dad still hunt whitetails every Saturday and Sunday of the season, and since 2015 he's gone to Alaska every September pursuing moose with an old Army buddy who owns property there.

That said, without discussing it, I think we all recognize that this year is probably his last elk hunt. Knowing this is making the whole trip bittersweet and I bounce back and forth between having a hard time getting excited for one last hurrah, and making the most of our final outing. While it does feel like taking the dog to the park one last time in some ways, what can you do but cherish it and make the most of it?

I do not question at all his ability to safely handle a rifle, properly identify game animals and other hunters, and make a safe and accurate shot if the opportunity presents itself. He's always self-aware and knows where he is, what he's doing, and why he's there.

I do worry that if he's left alone, he may not be able to find his way back. He still drives, likely not for much longer, as he knows how to get around in a "turn-by-turn" sort of way. He can get to dad's house, but not tell you how to get there on command. Street names come and go with his "good days" and "bad days", but he always knows you turn left at the railroad tracks.

We each carry our cell phone and a two-way radio for communication, and I plan to keep eyes on him at all times this year, even if from afar. He also has an ancient Garmin unit that was meant to save a waypoint, then guide you back to it later, which I intend to set up for him daily with the waypoint being either camp or the truck, whichever is closer to him.

Guess I haven't done much but tell a story here, but man this is a shit situation all around so I thought I'd share my version of it. It sucks having to take the gun from the hands that taught you. I think all we can do as sportsmen is make the moral/ethical decision, and do our best to carry on the legacy of those who passed it on to us.

 

[oldman]

I am 78 and am aware that I'm not 100% but still able to do most things. Our oldest son goes with me when ever I want to do something where it might entail some risk. He is so kind and caring and this makes me feel wonderful. It is so easy to be marginalized when you get old. My advise would be to talk very openly about the situation and help guide him thru what might lay ahead. My love & appreciation for my family is about why I get up everyday. I have more anxiety about going to the dentist than dying I guess because of my faith. Just be kind and patient one day in the not to distant future you will be glad you did and you too will be there.

 

[nam1975]

Thanks again for all the replies.
About 5 years ago when these issues 1st crept up, my Mom and sister would drive me nuts worried about him going hunting and calling all the time to check in. Now they seemed to have accepted things as they are. Funny how things work that way.

 

[long hunter]

Hunted with my dad for the last time 3 years ago in Nov. deer season, he passed Dec. 23 same year, find a way its not baby sitting, I am sure when you were younger and started hunting with him he did not consider it baby sitting. Enjoy the time because one day your going too be in a situation where you will want someone close too you too mentor you in old age.

 

[Pro953]

Hunted with my dad for the last time 3 years ago in Nov. deer season, he passed Dec. 23 same year, find a way its not baby sitting, I am sure when you were younger and started hunting with him he did not consider it baby sitting. Enjoy the time because one day your going too be in a situation where you will want someone close too you too mentor you in old age.

That’s a great perspective. Also, even with dementia I think we always underestimate the knowledge our elders hold. As far as I am concerned, nothing beats life experience.


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[FLATHEAD]

My Mom has Vascular Dementia. Just put her to bed and gave her medicine
so she can sleep.
God Bless you and your dad.

 

[MattB]

My step mom has dementia, such a terrible disease.

I hate to say it, but in regards to your question IMO that time is now. Sounds like you get that and have a plan to keep him involved. Good for you. Just keep in mind that gun safety will become an issue at some point. In my limited experience with the disease certain things aren't an issue until they are, and in some cases that first time can be a back breaker. Had it been an evening hunt, had the phone not been charged, had he forgotten he had it, etc. My wife's grandmother got to the point she could identify the phone was ringing (and the whistle on the tea kettle) but didn't know what it was so she wouldn't answer it.

I wish you the best.