Career Change Thoughts?

[WoodBow]

I'm 34. Married. 4 kids (11years, 6years, 2years, 1 month). I have had my current career for 10 years this september. I climbed the ladder at previous company for 7.5 years. Got recruited by another company that split off and have been here for the past 2.5 years. I am topped out in my field. Making more money than I hoped for (not crazy money, i just had low goals!). Only way i could advance is to move to a management position and I don't believe that interests me. I moved up to management in the old company, which was the goal, only to realize that i had no interest in managing people. I just wanted the pay increase. I am incredibly burned out and would be happy to never do this job another day. I commute 75 miles each way so that I can keep my family in the small town and schools. I am gone most of the day most days. I get up for work at 430 am most days and frequently get home after 5 oclock. 7,8,9 o'clock not being uncommon. Even if they could get my schedule really dialed in and I could be home at a reasonable time every day, I'm just not sure I can keep doing this for the rest of my life. I feel like i'm really far invested in this career path to just abandon it. But at the same time, every day i wait is a day that could be invested in something else. My job is pretty unique. Not a lot of positions like mine. If I leave, I wil be replaced and I couldn't be just like hey this didn't work out I think I will go back to what I was doing. My degree is pretty job specific. Not interested in going back to school, if it were even possible. I am the only bread winner.

Thoughts/Advise? Suck it up and be glad I have a job that pays good money, even if I am miserable and hardly home? Try to find something else to do that I could be less miserable and home more? It gets hard to tell the wife that I am going to hunt out of state for a week or two when some weeks they hardly see me as is. Even hunting local, i feel bad for not being with them on the weekend after being gone all week.

Is not dreading your job a pipe dream?

Tell me about those who have taken the leap and made a change. The good and the bad.

 

[def90]

Well.. what's the general job market like in your area? The 75 mile drive each way to work and back will make you hate any job after enough time as you end up spending another 3 hours on top of the regular work day itself which at the end of the day leaves you zero time for yourself or your family. I would dump the drive first. Paying extra for rent for a closer living situation or taking a pay cut to get a job within a 10 minute drive of where you currently live would be my priority.

 

[danwattsmessick]

I am currently updating my resume to apply for a career in another field.

Like you, I am topped out in my current organization and I have absolutely zero room for professional growth. I've taken every opportunity to get certifications and training in order to grow, but unless our union negotiates for a cost of living adjustment, I'll never make a penny more than I am now.

The company I am applying to will cause me to take a significant pay cut, but there is room to grow. With their pay structure I'll be making what I am now, again, in a year and a half. I'll also continue to make more the more I work.

Life is too short to be miserable for 8-10 hours every day. Money isn't everything, but it sure helps.

 

[22lr]

*disclaimer* I have not made the leap, and I plan to retire in my current job.

That said. I dont think its a pipe dream to not dread your job. But, before making the switch, plan it out. Don't make the jump until you have a solid plan. Your plan should include enough emergency savings to survive a few months without a job, and at a certain point you should identify when you need an emergency part time job to help cover costs. Ideally you smoothly transition from 1 job to another, but I know far more people who can't make that work, than those who do. I know plenty of people who took a part time job straight away to help make funds last while they were looking around for the longer term job (delivery drivers or fast food may not be super great jobs, but money is money and they are easy(ish) to get).

Find something that seems interesting and do a good bit of research on it before doing anything drastic. But, if you can't make that work, have a readily identified plan B and C, with an emergency plan D. If you start off prepared, it will go a long way to help prevent panic accepting a job that will put you in the same position 5 years down the road.

Finally. Make sure your wife is on the same page.

Summary: id say start looking, but go slower than you would like, be deliberate, plan it out in advance. Impulse decisions can get you into trouble in a hurry.

 

[CApighunter]

I’m in the same boat. Trying to make the switch from steel construction to law enforcement. Don’t have much advice other than to just go for it and see what happens. Nothing wrong with making a change if you’re not happy.

 

[PaHunter86]

Go slow and find something that fits everything you want. There are plenty of jobs out there and one will suit your wants and needs. I made a career change 6yrs ago and I'm happier.

 

[FLATHEAD]

To the OP: been there , done that. It sucks feeling like you're in a trap. Thats how I feel/felt for a long time.
I'm 55 with 21 years in, cushy, good paying, boring job with no satisfaction whatsoever. Next step up is a Supervisor managing people, teams meetings, emails, sitting in front of a computer all day.
NO THANKS!!
But in my situation I will prolly just suck it up and make the best of it till retirement .
If you make a change, dont wait too long.

 

[sharpekd]

I recommend listening to the Ken Coleman show. His podcast is free to download. He has a pretty straight forward approach to looking at career changes, how to find your sweet spot so that you are excited about going to work every day. You can get the majority of his approach after listening to 5-6 of his podcasts. I listened to his podcast a lot when I was thinking of changing careers but some things changed in my current job so I decided to stay put for now.

 

[Fitzwho]

I'm in a similar situation. But already in the management position and have been for the better part of 8 years. I was the District Manager at my previous employer for 6 years (no one had lasted more than 2 years prior to that and they are already on the 2nd guy since I left 18 months ago). I didn't like the direction of the company and I got tired of getting promotions/additional duties that came along with pay cuts.

I looked for a while for a new position, including going back to be an EIT (entry level engineer). I was literally willing to take a 50-75% paycut to get out of that place, but I could not even get a second look at some engineering firms. Having 2 engineering degrees, 3 years of civil engineering experience and 6 years of management experience, but then being told they were going with someone "more experienced" is a punch in the gut. Literally there isn't anybody more experienced for some of those jobs.

I ended up taking an Area Operations Manager position running two states for a company that does the same thing as my previous employer. So I took another "promotion" with a $30,000 pay cut because I thought I would get to spend more time at home. And I did for a while last year, but that was more due to COVID and the oilfield being slow. Not so much anymore. I have days where I enjoy the people and the job in general and other days that negate the good days. The problem with the oilfield is that the better job you do the busier you get.

Having a 4 year old daughter that is constantly wanting my attention when I do get home and being emotionally drained by 3pm on most days gives me second thoughts about how long I can keep this up. I am trying to get his shop running itself instead of having to be involved in all the minutia of the daily operations. If I can get it running itself (per se) I am going to try and talk my boss into letting me relocate. If that's not an option, and a few other things don't pan out, by this time next year, I will likely be looking for a new position.

 

[sram9102]

I'm trying to make a move currently. I have worked for our local planning/zoning office for going on 7 years. The schedule is great, 8-4 5 days a week no weekends etc. but it is underwhelming. I've spent the last 12 months trying to get on the FD for the same municipality. 24 hour shifts is going to be a change if I ever get on but only working 3 out of every 9 days will let me spend a ton of time with my boy. We're in my wife's home town and she has a ton of family here so being tied to the same place for the next 20 years doesn't bother me at all. Doesn't hurt that her grandpa has 3500 acres in the county.

 

[cjdewese]

What is your debt situation right now and how much do you NEED to get by and take care of your family. Are there ways that you can reduce the $ you need to get by. For me, I had to pay off all of my debt and get rid of all of our car payments before I could even think about leaving my job.

I will say that taking care of your family is priority #1 and making sure that you have enough time to enjoy them. We put in so much time making ends meet for our family that we don't have enough time to actually enjoy them. That doesn't make sense to me at all. My family is the reason I work so hard if I don't get to enjoy them or be part of their life the balance is out of whack IMO.

At times we just have to suck it up and do what we can. But if you want something to change, talk about it with your wife. Figure out what you want to get out of a new job and come up with a plan you can work towards. Even if it's a few years away, being happy for the remainder of your young kids lives is important and will be a lesson they can look at and work towards for themselves.

 

[mhabiger]

I second what everyone is saying about being deliberate and making sure you've thought things through financially. Then assume whatever you planned for will probably be more difficult and add another 30-50%. I personally always underestimate the difficulty or length of time something will take.

5 years ago my wife left the practice of law to be a realtor. She spent at least a year exploring different fields, talking to people, etc... Is selling homes her dream job? No. But she likes it much more than corporate litigation and has complete autonomy which is really what she was after. Last year I left my job in high demand startups after about a year of consideration and planning. I liked my job but knew that my work life could be even better.

If 40-60% of your waking hours are gonna be spent working, you shouldn't be miserable doing it. If you feel like you've really exhausted opportunities in the field and with your current employer then start figuring out what gets you motivated and engaged in life.

A book that I found helpful for really trying to think through what my goals were is Designing Your Life by Burnett and Evans. Do the exercises, even though they seem kind of stupid. It will help you focus in on what you really keeps you energized and engaged w.r.t to work and life.

 

[cobbc03]

Find another job. One of my best personal and career decisions was leaving my last place of employment even though I took a pay cut. I am now making more money, much happier, and have an almost stress free drive. That long of a commute would be a killer for me, let alone a stressful essentially no where to go job. You deserve to be happy, and you being happy will make your family happier too.

 

[GSPHUNTER]

You have big family responsibilities but if you can find something closer and still make close to the same $$$ why not go for it. Don't take a job closer to you will not be happy with, nothing worst than hating your job. You and your wife will figure it out. good luck with what ever you do.

 

[wildwilderness]

A 75 mile commute is a non-starter for quality of life. An hour max is acceptable if you enjoy the job, 45 min is better and 30 or less should be the goal.

First step- Change your hours to 4-10s. sounds like you are getting sucked into 5-10s anyway so demand that switch. The extra day will greatly help in the short term.

You will have to prioritize your life, probably will need to move, or be willing to take a pay cut. In the end everything will work out either way. Just take ownership of your life.

 

[JFK]

I made a very big career change years ago. Was working in corporate hell and literally one day just made the decision to
start acting on it versus thinking about it. Getting a full time paid firefighter job in Ca is very competitive, requiring quite a bit of training on your own time and own dime before the larger depts will really give you a serious look. No kids at the time thankfully as I kept my day job, did night classes for EMT, weekend pre-service academy, volunteered, etc. Basically made changing careers and becoming qualified my second job. I was extremely busy. From start to finish it was a little over two years to get hired. Another 18 months of Academy and probation. It was the hardest, best thing I ever did in life.

The very important first step is determining what type of new career would suit you better. Don’t want to go through the stress and hardship only to find out the grass isn’t greener. If the change requires a series of actions create a plan….right it down and put it somewhere visible. Always be doing something to move it forward.

I’d say figure out what you want and go for it, assuming you can make it work for your family. Changing careers improved all aspects of my life, and not just the normal time/money equation that people talk about. It’s pretty empowering to free yourself from a job that feels like prison, and I’m a better, more confident person for having done it.

 

[fngTony]

I made a very big career change years ago. Was working in corporate hell and literally one day just made the decision to
start acting on it versus thinking about it. Getting a full time paid firefighter job in Ca is very competitive, requiring quite a bit of training on your own time and own dime before the larger depts will really give you a serious look. No kids at the time thankfully as I kept my day job, did night classes for EMT, weekend pre-service academy, volunteered, etc. Basically made changing careers and becoming qualified my second job. I was extremely busy. From start to finish it was a little over two years to get hired. Another 18 months of Academy and probation. It was the hardest, best thing I ever did in life.

The very important first step is determining what type of new career would suit you better. Don’t want to go through the stress and hardship only to find out the grass isn’t greener. If the change requires a series of actions create a plan….right it down and put it somewhere visible. Always be doing something to move it forward.

I’d say figure out what you want and go for it, assuming you can make it work for your family. Changing careers improved all aspects of my life, and not just the normal time/money equation that people talk about. It’s pretty empowering to free yourself from a job that feels like prison, and I’m a better, more confident person for having done it.

That’s quite a career change, how did you come to wanting to be a firefighter?

 

[JFK]

That’s quite a career change, how did you come to wanting to be a firefighter?

It was a combination of things. Most important was the fact that I realized I wasn’t built to be at a desk. My whole life I’ve enjoyed physical activity, working with my hands, tools, etc. I also realized I didn’t like the predictability of my old job. When I got out of college I took the job and while I didn’t enjoy it initially, I thought it would grow on me. It didn’t. It just got worse as I promoted up in the company. Corporate culture, bs meetings, f*%king khaki pants everywhere. It was lame. Changing companies wasn’t going to solve anything. I didn’t fit into that world.

I wasn’t gratified in my work, didn’t feel like I was making a difference. My dissatisfaction came home with me. I got tired about complaining about my job, and believe my then girlfriend (now wife) didn’t like it either as it was this constant negative in our life. The fire service is very tough on spouses because you can be gone for a long time, but I don’t bring that negativity home with me anymore.

Long hours, the expectation that you’d come in on Saturday’s or constantly stay late without compensation. I’m a hard worker but it just got to the point where I felt things were out of balance and they were taking advantage of me because I was salaried.

I have many friends and family in the fire service and they all genuinely love their jobs. I talked them about it and they were like “Go for it, it’s not easy but we’ll worth it.” After I had some basic qualifications, some volunteer time, and some exposure to the fire service it became crystal clear to me that’s what I needed to work towards as a career. I’ve got 6 years in and still thank god everyday I made this choice.

I’m not trying to sell you on it as a career. It’s not for most people. Just to illustrate that it’s useful to really look into what it is that you want. What’s missing, and where can those things be found.

 

[grfox92]

I'm 34. Married. 4 kids (11years, 6years, 2years, 1 month). I have had my current career for 10 years this september. I climbed the ladder at previous company for 7.5 years. Got recruited by another company that split off and have been here for the past 2.5 years. I am topped out in my field. Making more money than I hoped for (not crazy money, i just had low goals!). Only way i could advance is to move to a management position and I don't believe that interests me. I moved up to management in the old company, which was the goal, only to realize that i had no interest in managing people. I just wanted the pay increase. I am incredibly burned out and would be happy to never do this job another day. I commute 75 miles each way so that I can keep my family in the small town and schools. I am gone most of the day most days. I get up for work at 430 am most days and frequently get home after 5 oclock. 7,8,9 o'clock not being uncommon. Even if they could get my schedule really dialed in and I could be home at a reasonable time every day, I'm just not sure I can keep doing this for the rest of my life. I feel like i'm really far invested in this career path to just abandon it. But at the same time, every day i wait is a day that could be invested in something else. My job is pretty unique. Not a lot of positions like mine. If I leave, I wil be replaced and I couldn't be just like hey this didn't work out I think I will go back to what I was doing. My degree is pretty job specific. Not interested in going back to school, if it were even possible. I am the only bread winner.

Thoughts/Advise? Suck it up and be glad I have a job that pays good money, even if I am miserable and hardly home? Try to find something else to do that I could be less miserable and home more? It gets hard to tell the wife that I am going to hunt out of state for a week or two when some weeks they hardly see me as is. Even hunting local, i feel bad for not being with them on the weekend after being gone all week.

Is not dreading your job a pipe dream?

Tell me about those who have taken the leap and made a change. The good and the bad.

I was in almost the exact same situation, 8 years in management for Home Depot only to get recruited and offered 20k more a year with Trader Joe's. I was making damn good money and was topped out as an assistant manager.

Next step would be a store manager which paid over 150k a year, and I was a person of interest with regional management for that position in the near future.

I quit, sold my house, took my money and relocated my wife and 3 kids to Wyoming. I am currently working for half of what I was making in retail management in construction with a food truck 90% built and ready for next spring and summer.

I live in arguably the most beautiful place in the lower 48. Deer, elk, antelope, bears of both kinds, wolves, mountain lions, mountain goats, big horn sheep, bison right out my back door.

Was it a huge risk? Yes. Is it working out. Yes. Even if it wasn't working out I would find a new plan and stick with it until it did work.

I'm happier then I have been in as along as I can remember. I'm hunting elk and mule deer over the counter as a resident this year, and antelope on a draw tag.

People always asked before I moved, aren't you going to miss all of your family? My response was always the same. I'm not going to work a job I hate and live paycheck to paycheck living in an expensive metropolis just so I can be close to family that I see once or twice a year at holidays.

I am carving out my own life with my wife and kids the way I want to live, where I want to live doing what I want to do for a living and hunting my ass off.

You sound like a smart motivated guy. Come up with a plan and go for it. This life is short, don't be an old man in 30 years thinking back about how you wish you did things differently.


Edit. I wanted to say I realize my situation was much more drastic as I was not only quitting my job, but uprooting and relocating as well. But that just solidifies my point that I am trying to make. Working a job you hate does nothing good for your personal life. It does the opposite. Find something that you don't hate doing everyday.

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[SpringerMike]

Speaking as a retired guy who spent 41 years working in the public schools, my advice is to call a family meeting and tell them what’s on your mind, then give each of them a chance to share what’s on their mind too.

Whatever the decision is, each of them will be impacted too.

Your position as “breadwinner” is important, but not so important you become a grumpy stranger to your wife & kids.
When people in hospice care are asked about their regrets, not spending enough time with loved ones almost always tops the list. Not spending enough time at work never does.