Best kid one liners

[Zking]

I’m sure everyone in this threads kids are the same, but my 2 year old turns everything into a gun. The wife took him to the Zoo and says instead of looking at all the animals like other kids, he shoots them “pew” with his water bottle

My two year old was pretending to shoot his sister last night and all I hear from their room is her yelling, “no, we don’t do that to people only animals!” He had stuck two bath toys together to make a gun

 

[EastHumboldt]

When my son was about five he evinced some curiosity about the origin of babies. So we’re explaining without trying to get too deep into the exact specifics, and I said “You know how we put seeds in the ground to grow stuff? The daddy has some seeds inside of him, and sometimes when they’re in bed, he puts some in the mommy and she grows a baby. “. He gets silent and thoughtful and you can see the wheels spinning. Then he comes up with “ But how do the seeds get in the mommy? Do they crawl across the sheets?”

 

[dr.mooseknuckles]

A

When my son was about five he evinced some curiosity about the origin of babies. So we’re explaining without trying to get too deep into the exact specifics, and I said “You know how we put seeds in the ground to grow stuff? The daddy has some seeds inside of him, and sometimes when they’re in bed, he puts some in the mommy and she grows a baby. “. He gets silent and thoughtful and you can see the wheels spinning. Then he comes up with “ But how do the seeds get in the mommy? Do they crawl across the sheets?”

Yes son, then mom has to sleep on the wet spot

 

[grfox92]

My oldest son and daughter playing hospital when they were kids.

Son working on a stuffed animal.

"Nurse we need to help this man, hes suffering from blood lost."

Daughter.

"Whats blood lost?"

Son.

"It means.....his blood.....is somewhere else...it isn't here....its lost."

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