All the user reviews I've seen on aerogel clothing have said that it doesn't hold up well over time. Aerogel is a solid and apparently fairly delicate. I remember in particular people said that their aerogel gloves were useless after just a few days of wear.
I would NOT condition first, as that may prevent glue from sticking. I would start by trying Gear Aid or a leather/fabric glue. I'm not sure those will hold up to substantial abuse, but they would be my first try. If that doesn't hold up, I would just use epoxy the next time and press the...
For this scenario, I recommend a waterproof shell jacket and insulated inner jacket/liner. Something like this would be good down to about freezing:
https://www.cabelas.com/shop/en/redhead-mountain-stalker-elite-parka-for-men
But below freezing, you'll probably want to add a puffy jacket below...