Rokslide comic strip

[mtnrunner260]

Yes it is.

 

[bowieknife50]

Two bulls were sitting on a hill one day, overlooking their herd. All of the sudden the young whippersnapper bull says, "hey big bull, what do you say we run down there and breed us a cow?".

The old, wise herd bull replies: "how about we walk down there...and breed them all?"

 

[Jaker_cc]

 

[orionsbrother]

It means they don't know how to click on "Thread Tools" at the top of the page and hit subscribe in order to receive notifications on new posts so they "comment" to accomplish the same thing.

Actually, it means that I was trying unsuccessfully to post something from a crappy tablet.

 

[bigmoose]

Road Food...

 

[Carlin59]

Road Food...

Montana bears must not care about that whole "hormone free" food movement.

 

[Mtnboy]

prostaff starter kit.

Oh man, I'm still laughing about this one!

 

[Clarktar]

prostaff starter kit.

Damn, that's the best one yet!!

 

[COlineman78]

 

[missjordan]

 

[SLDMTN]

prostaff starter kit.

Sometimes the funniest things aren't even a joke.

 

[Stwrt9]

Trump

 

[Mad Mountain Mike]

 

[elkguide]

ETIQUETTE for your finer moments




GENERAL

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum your bed........ it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you are sure that you are in the will....... it's tacky to take a U-Haul to the funeral.



ENTERTAINING AT YOUR HOUSE


1. A centerpiece for the table should not have been prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table....... no matter how good his manners are.


PERSONAL HYGENE


1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private with your own truck key.

2. Proper use of toiletries can put off bathing for several days.

3. If you live alone.......deodorant is a waste of money.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no as it detracts from a woman's jewelry.


DATING (outside the family)


1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Be aggressive. Let her know that you're interested, "I've wanted to go out with you since I read the stuff on the bathroom wall."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say "10:00 PM." Others might say, "Monday." If it's the
latter, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.


THEATER


1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie is over.

2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have shown that they can't hear you.


DRIVING


1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if you have a deer in your sights.

2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires has the right of way.

3. Never tow a car with panty hose and duct tape.

4. Do not lay rubber while in a funeral procession.

5. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back some beer.


WEDDINGS


1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a clean bowling shirt is considered tacky.

3. Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

4. Kissing the bride for more than 10 seconds may get you shot.

 

[1hoda]

View attachment 34459

 

[Schnagelbagel]

THE NEW HUSBAND STORE



A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

 

[Schnagelbagel]

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."

 

[elkguide]

An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.

When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says,"I'm going to check your prostate today,
but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate,
take a deep breath and say,'99'.

The old guy obeys and says, "99".

The doctor says, "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check,
take a deep breath and say, '99".

Again, the old guy says, '99'."

The doctor said, "Very good".
Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand,
and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your $$$$$
to keep it out of the way.

Now take a deep breath and say,
'99'.

The old guy begins,


"One.....

two.....

three."

 

[COlineman78]

 

[cbeck36]

Woody had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from
humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road...Having a Christmas party Friday night...Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."

"Great", says Woody, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem" says Woody. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too."

"Now that's really not a problem" says Woody, warming to the idea "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."