Mid life crisis career change… Remote jobs?

[JStol5]

Maybe you could stay where you are and pick up a side hustle/educational opportunity/save for a cabin or second place somewhere? I think a lot of folks get to a point where they need to scratch some kind of itch relating to discontent with job, where they live, etc.

For the record- I’m only 23 but I’ve seen this a LOT in my life. Changing your career or moving isn’t necessarily the answer to your problems- but making small tweaks can hold us over through times of discontent.

 

[ELKhunter60]

Lot's to consider. I have some life experience related to your comments that I'll share. Maybe it will be helpful, and maybe not.

Before I start I'll tell you I'm now 55 years old, been married 35 years, raised two great kids and moved 900 miles from home when I was 39 years old and our kids were teenagers.

One thing I have learned about myself is regardless of the job, I seem to get itchy feet after having the same job for 8-10 years. After reflecting back on this, I believe I am like this for the following reasons:
A) I'm a life long learner and get bored if I'm not being exposed to and learning new and exciting
things.
B) I love adventure. When I was young I thought this just applied to my hunts - but I've come to realize
adventure comes in many forms - careers/moves can be an adventure.

When you live close to "home", you can go on vacation to fun and exciting places. When you live away from home and you have kids, you spend 1-2 weeks of your vacation per year going back home so your kids know who their grandparents are.

You talk a lot about $$ and the amount of money you put toward your pension. Fair comment. I don't have a pension, but your salary and mine are currently within 10% of each other. I've been putting 20% of my income into various retirement accounts for 20 years and need to go another 6 years before I'm relatively sure I'll have enough to retire at 61. My point is just because you don't have a pension doesn't mean you won't be putting some of your income into retirement.

Over my career I've had 250k W2's and 60k W2's. For me it seems like once you get past 80k the rest doesn't matter so much if your priorities are straight. I've also lived in 3000 sq foot beautiful houses and currently live in my father-in-laws 50 year old 900 sq ft house (my wife and I are caring for him). I'm just as happy in the 900 sq foot house.

I think most folks who move long distances tend to romanticize about how nice it will be somewhere else. I know I have. Don't get me wrong, I live in Michigan right now and may move to Wyoming myself once my father-in-law passes - but never the less, we romanticize about how great it will be. Moving may be a good move for you, but it will have it's issues too. It just will. Life always throws us curve balls and stress no matter where we live.

If you are getting restless in your current situation, I think you need to pay attention to that and come up with a plan. If you don't, you will eventually become miserable. I wish you and your family the best as you flesh out what your next adventure looks like. As you do, stay true to what you are passionate about. Doing a job just to collect a paycheck never works out for adventurous people. Part of being happy and fulfilled is doing what we are passionate about.

 

[BuckeyeRifleman]

Lot's to consider. I have some life experience related to your comments that I'll share. Maybe it will be helpful, and maybe not.

Before I start I'll tell you I'm now 55 years old, been married 35 years, raised two great kids and moved 900 miles from home when I was 39 years old and our kids were teenagers.

One thing I have learned about myself is regardless of the job, I seem to get itchy feet after having the same job for 8-10 years. After reflecting back on this, I believe I am like this for the following reasons:
A) I'm a life long learner and get bored if I'm not being exposed to and learning new and exciting
things.
B) I love adventure. When I was young I thought this just applied to my hunts - but I've come to realize
adventure comes in many forms - careers/moves can be an adventure.

When you live close to "home", you can go on vacation to fun and exciting places. When you live away from home and you have kids, you spend 1-2 weeks of your vacation per year going back home so your kids know who their grandparents are.

You talk a lot about $$ and the amount of money you put toward your pension. Fair comment. I don't have a pension, but your salary and mine are currently within 10% of each other. I've been putting 20% of my income into various retirement accounts for 20 years and need to go another 6 years before I'm relatively sure I'll have enough to retire at 61. My point is just because you don't have a pension doesn't mean you won't be putting some of your income into retirement.

Over my career I've had 250k W2's and 60k W2's. For me it seems like once you get past 80k the rest doesn't matter so much if your priorities are straight. I've also lived in 3000 sq foot beautiful houses and currently live in my father-in-laws 50 year old 900 sq ft house (my wife and I are caring for him). I'm just as happy in the 900 sq foot house.

I think most folks who move long distances tend to romanticize about how nice it will be somewhere else. I know I have. Don't get me wrong, I live in Michigan right now and may move to Wyoming myself once my father-in-law passes - but never the less, we romanticize about how great it will be. Moving may be a good move for you, but it will have it's issues too. It just will. Life always throws us curve balls and stress no matter where we live.

If you are getting restless in your current situation, I think you need to pay attention to that and come up with a plan. If you don't, you will eventually become miserable. I wish you and your family the best as you flesh out what your next adventure looks like. As you do, stay true to what you are passionate about. Doing a job just to collect a paycheck never works out for adventurous people. Part of being happy and fulfilled is doing what we are passionate about.

Man @ELKhunter60 you nailed it, in so many ways.

Similar to you I clearly value adventure and learning, both with recreation and in my career. It seems as though we are cut from the same cloth in that fashion. Admittedly I’ve picked a lot of “cool” career(s) along the way as a result. I’ve noticed that about every five years I get the itch. It’s been six years since I graduated from Army flight school, and that itch has hit. Restlessness is the perfect way to describe it.

The difference this time is having a family to worry about. My wife has tolerated two years of me being gone between flight school and a deployment. Not to mention countless 24 hr shifts.

Is the next new adventure a move and a 9-5 gig? I don’t know, but whatever it is, I feel like her feelings about it need to be at the forefront of my mind. For now, life somewhere else, doing something else seems like something both of us want. Does it solve all our problems? Hell no, if anything it creates them tenfold. I don’t kid myself about that.

But it does scratch that restless itch, to see what’s over that next ridge line in life. I guess that’s the point.

 

[RedSnow]

Ohio is the worst state in the Union. Only good thing coming out of Ohio is I-75.

Get out of there while you still can.

 

[backcountrybutcher]

Also… It’s not about money!! Money doesn’t mean anything if you aren’t doing what you want to be doing and living the life you want to live! Sounds like you have a ton of skills and tools and will find a great job anywhere you go.

 

[fngTony]

Ohio is the worst state in the Union. Only good thing coming out of Ohio is I-75.

Get out of there while you still can.

US route 24 worked as my escape

 

[fngTony]

@BuckeyeRifleman being in a similar situation I would recommend building your LinkedIn profile around your skills but not your jobs. Otherwise it feeds you more of what you’re looking to get away from. Same goes for indeed.

 

[Shraggs]

Yes, intel now owns one of my hunting spots, this sucks !

I’m 60 now, hard to get interviews at this age so I scrambled now. Trying to build a consulting solo practice.

I try never to look back, just play my best given where I am. Your restlessness may be you, as was well outlined above. Don’t mean that harshly. I jobbed hoped for similar reasons, but finally found within myself to tough it out and persevere. For most works sucks, but it shouldn’t define your happiness. My last job was a 50% cut, but I’m better financially in long run. This is the time to evaluate, but it’s more than the job.

Lifestyle, opportunity for kids, etc should drive you imo.

That said, one option you didn’t say; tough it out. That is a lot of cash flow with low cost of living. Put a plan of no debt and 50% save. Most who’ve chimed confessed to their work environment isn’t ideal - point, grass may not be greener. At that rate, in 14 years one could pay all debt, kitty for college and retire ie quit and have a nest egg through after tax dollars and be extremely financially secure. At 50, you could go west, take a mindless part time job if you choose before you started any retirement annuity payouts.

Not at all saying you should not jump in 3 years. But many are amazed, in a good way, at your income at this age.

Jump now for the lifestyle or build your entire retirement in 15 years or so and plan for a new lifestyle then.

 

[Braaap]

Do you find a first in fire exciting still? Or do you never get off the box? I can’t imagine working for a department where I was stuck on an ambulance most of the time. I’m ten years into my career and still find a ripping fire pretty fun. The homeless and bullshit calls at night are rough and bad for health. If actual firefighting sounds fun still then maybe look for another fire job with zero ambulance time but if not maybe a total career switch.

 

[wingmaster]

I did a career change in my early 30s, I did it by going to graduate school for the field I was interested in, which required some prereqs at a community college. It was an arduous grind but it was worth it, I'll never wonder "what if" I decided to go for it. I think there's so much out there in the world to experience, I may even switch again in my 50s or 60s and try something else. I have newfound respect for those who make a career change because it's not easy and requires persistence.

I know you were also writing about location. I'm working on a making a move myself this year, but pursuing that career change has given me more options on where to go.

 

[BuckeyeRifleman]

Do you find a first in fire exciting still? Or do you never get off the box? I can’t imagine working for a department where I was stuck on an ambulance most of the time. I’m ten years into my career and still find a ripping fire pretty fun. The homeless and bullshit calls at night are rough and bad for health. If actual firefighting sounds fun still then maybe look for another fire job with zero ambulance time but if not maybe a total career switch.

Oh trust me, a good rip is still a blast. I’m at a downtown house so unfortunately our fires are infrequent. But then again it’s that way for everyone these days… I stick to where I’m at because I love the guys I’m with and we get a good variety of clientele on the medic. I’d say I’m anywhere from 50/50 medic engine to 2/3 medic, depending on how much I’ve been off on military leave or whatever.

But I do Dive stuff and TEMS stuff as well. Like I said, I don’t hate the job, but it’s definitely lost some of its luster over the years.

 

[displacedtexan]

So you're making more than the majority of people in this country, but it's not enough because of politics, and you want to move because of politics?

 

[BuckeyeRifleman]

So you're making more than the majority of people in this country, but it's not enough because of politics, and you want to move because of politics?

When did I say it wasn’t enough? You’re putting words in my mouth.

Sure, I don’t like where things are trending where I live… I’m watching prime whitetail habitat being bulldozed all around me right now. The politics of the people doing it is just icing on the cake.

Yeah, money is a decision point. Unfortunately (newsflash) you sorta need to it to live and raise a family. But if that was my only concern in life, I wouldn’t have made this thread, and I certainly wouldn’t have chosen a career in public service 12 years ago.

Go take the class warfare shit back to the BHA meeting.

Yes, unfortunately politics is a decision point in where I live and decide to raise a family. I wish it didn’t have to be.

 

[justin davis]

I’ve been a fireman for going on 20 years. Work at a small department in the mountains. Lots of medical but I enjoy helping people and taking them to hospital. We do a lot of wildland. That breaks things up but also sucks being away from family In the summer. I can’t imagine doing anything else really.

 

[BRTreedogs]

So I didn't really read every word.
Yes you guys make life changing money compared to most people.

But here is the deal imo. Military people very rarely, if ever feel fulfilled after the military.

I have friends that are tormented with this.
Its changed who they are and ruined most of them.
I struggled with it for awhile. After leading and being in charge of so much at a young age I think all this stuff civilians get worked up about is so cute.
Dude if what your doing doesn't fulfill you imo nothing will. Your just gonna be broker and still not fulfilled.
A job is a job, your just trading your life for money. Die on a Friday and your seat will be filled on Monday.

Sign on active duty, transfer from unit to unit as they get activated on orders.
Its really the only thing that works.

 

[JFK]

I will start by saying what you feel is exactly what the vast majority of firefighters feel with your time/age. The job is past the learning and novelty phase, there is a long way to go, and you aren't challenged. Take a promotional exam. Become an officer, become a prevention inspector, become a training instructor. Do something other than show up and run calls. You need a challenge and stimulation. I have seen this a thousand times, literally. Guys with your time either become brutally bitter and a pain in the ass for the rest of their career or they promote and grow. Seniority? That’s the game, you will have it back in no time.
I talk to you from 32 years experience and as the Deputy Chief of Operations of a major liberal city department. We deal with your frustrations ten fold. And don’t think I’m some career administrator. My career was spent at what was the busiest firehouse in America at the time. I worked and swore I would never be a Chief. Well, here I am, and more satisfied and challenged than ever. Take advantage of the career you have. You will be rewarded in ways you never imagined.

This is it above. No one is meant to do the exact same job for 30 years. You need to grow with it. Remind yourself why you wanted to do the job. Re-engage. Take classes. Promote. Between those calls helping mooches and shit bags, which can, at times, seem like all the calls, are a lot of people who actually need our help. Pay attention to those calls.

If someone gets bored in the fire service it’s because they aren’t challenging themselves. There is more to learn and do than any one person could ever feasibly accomplish.

 

[Loggerdude]

I would hate to be miserable making a living and waiting on a pension omo

 

[CorbLand]

If you move out west, be prepared for your current net income to become your gross. Couple that with rising cost of living and it’s getting hard. I love the west, born here and 99.9% chance my ass will be buried here but the reality is what it is.

Make sure that your wife can truly take the cut. I have found and seen that guys can generally live with less but our wife’s can’t. If I wasn’t married, I would be living in a shop with an apartment above it, my groceries would be a 1/3 of what they are and I wouldn’t have to buy curtains for my bathroom window, even though you can’t see in or out of it anyways.

Every where is watching prime wildlife habitat be bulldozed right now.

With that, I feel for you. I graduated college, fought hard to get in the place I work because it’s what I wanted to do. 5 years, 3 promotions and I hate it now. I work for the state, and the same thing is happening. People are leaving, nobody to replace them and the work is getting pushed onto everyone else. It’s compounding to the level that more and more people are quitting.

 

[thinhorn_AK]

Keep that pension. Have a mid-life crisis like a real man and just buy a corvette or a Harley.

 

[insanelupus]

Most true mid-life crises experiences are men looking for adventure in life. They grow bored with the everyday. Relocation without re-prioritization or honest realization allows the issue to follow and resurface, regardless if it is actual location or occupation. (That was a little more Dr. Seuss than intended, but still true).

If you are in a 3 year time line, consider all possibilities, examine promotion and relocation, certainly. But perhaps it is time to explore other options, pursuits, and adventures in a responsible way. Perhaps it is pursuing a volunteer position on something you are passionate about. Perhaps a new hobby. Better yet, a new pursuit with the wife, or family. Something that allows you to be passionate, a renewed leader in your sphere of influence, and challenges you to engage with your family that exceeds previous efforts.

Don't get locked into one modality of change and improvement. And certainly be wary of the fall of many men in this positron where the search for adventure goes askew into a train wreck of their lives and their families (risky pursuits, inappropriate relationships, substance abuse, etc.) Think about it, I'd wager with certainty it is something you've seen in the past but maybe didn't understand the why. One is far more susceptible to this with the right impetus than we'd like to believe.

In the end, step back and examine the battlefield in front of you. Realize the options are broad and tunnel vision is self-limiting. Adventure comes in many forms, friend, and it ain't always what we initially think!